Introduction

Welcome to the first of many studies on Proverbs 31, the famous chapter about the Virtuous Woman. For this study we will be looking into verse 27 which says, “She watches over the ways of her household and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.” We will discuss both what households are and what we are to do with them, as well as the effect we have on them and how we can build ours up today.

What is a household?

First, i wanted to begin with the word household, “The Hebrew word “bayit” is frequently used to denote both the physical house and the family it contains.” (Bible Hub, 2004-2024) I’ve also found verses such as; 1 Corinthians 3:9 which says we are “God’s Building”, 1 Corinthians 3:16 which says we are the “temple of God” and Ephesians 2:19-22 which tells us we are called to be a “dwelling place” for God.

So, to put it simply, it is us. We are the household. It involves our family and relationships, our body and health, our passion and thoughts, our works and careers, and most importantly our faith.

When we look at our lives, we tend to categorise them into beautiful pie charts with distinct lines separating the portions rather than looking at our lives as an organic whole.

The Jesus category, for example, tick’s boxes like; attending church, going to bible class and praying every day.  That “slice of our pie,” in our opinion, is substantial. We are “doing fine”.  Then, without realising it, we leave Jesus entirely out of the rest of lives, as we move on into the rest of our pie charts, our parenting, our career, or our leisure activities. 

It seems like we don’t believe Jesus is related to other parts of our life. However, He is involved with in every way! Our faith is not “a slice of pie,” our faith is the foundation and creates the culture of our households.

“He is the whole pie. He should influence and infiltrate all the separate parts of our lives bringing them together in unity and peace in only the way He can.”

Dara LaPorta

So, let’s look back at Proverbs 31:27 where it says “the ways of her household” and substitute household for life, to see if we can discover its meaning. With meaning added, it now says, she watches over the ways of her life and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.

Our household involves everything in our lives, not just a physical dwelling place, but the dwelling place of our hearts and “is multifaceted, encompassing family, faith, and community.” (Bible Hub, 2004-2024)

What are we called to do with our households?

Proverbs 14:1, tells us to Build our households, in fact it says, “the WISE woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” As we grow and entertain in our households, we need to make sure we are building others up and not pulling them down, remembering that our relationships are part of our pie.

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater… If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart…”

Erick S. Gray

1 Timothy 5:8 tells us to Provide for our households. The Hebrew verb “Latet” means “to give or allow”. When Proverbs 31:16 says, a virtuous woman considers a field and buys it and from her profits she plants a vineyard, it is obvious that she makes plans and executes them with her family in mind. She doesn’t use her profits for herself, as she plants a whole vineyard for her household. She also considers and she doesn’t impatiently and spontaneously make decisions for her household.

Providing isn’t just about bringing food to the table, it is about arrangements, preparing in advance, to meet or supply needs, or to see ahead and plan accordingly. Proverbs 31:13 says we need to “willingly [work] with [our] hands.” It is very easy for us to get tired and discontent about the tasks we are given to do in our lives, but Paul advises us in Galatians 6:9 to “not become weary in doing good: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

Our lives and homes consist of our belongings also, like food and clothing. So what are we called to do with these things in our household? Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 to be content. He says, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing isn’t this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, into many foolish and harmful lusts…”

How do we effect our households?

Ecclesiastes 10:18 says, “Because of laziness the building [our household] decays, and through idleness of hands the house leaks.” The Hebrew word “deleph” refers to the act of dripping or leaking, often used metaphorically to describe a continuous, bothersome, or nagging situation, and because of how idle we are at times, we can become winy and annoying towards those around us.

What’s the opposite of idle you might ask: active! The word active in Hebrew means, awake; alert, vigilant, enthusiastic; aware of, conscious of. 1 Corinthians 3:8 says, “Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labour.” In other words and in most cases, you will receive what you give out, and this of course requires effort and patience.

We affect our households with our actions: what we give and what we do. We also affect our households with our words. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” In Proverbs 31:26 when it says, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness,” and reminds us to practice self-control and hold our tongues when we feel the need to argue, nag or bicker. This is something i personally need the Lord’s strength in, so much so, that i’ve bought myself a mug with Proverbs 31:26 on it, a great reminder that words really do effect the culture of your household.

Lastly, we affect our households with our faith, Acts 16:31 says, “Believe on the lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved, you and your household.” I’ve known this verse for a very long time, but I didn’t grasp its full relevance until I recently read it again in this context. Your entire household can be saved by your faith alone, if you believe that there is a God and that Jesus is his son, who died and rose again. This hope for ourselves and our family members just demonstrates the depth of God’s love and mercy for us!

Matthew 6:33 is one of the hymns we sing at church and reads, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” This verse serves as a reminder that even in the rut of everyday life and in the mundane tasks such as laundry, dishes, work, and school pick-ups and drop-offs, if we seek him first, he can offer us peace, stability, and the salvation of our households.

How can we build our households today?

I want to explore some practical ways we can work towards building up, providing and adding value to our households. We ultimately want to focus on actions, words and incorporating our faith into the whole pie, in all areas of our lives.

ACTIONS:

• While we are doing the dishes, or a load of laundry, Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 5:19, to “rejoice in labour”.
• He also says later in chapter 9:10, that “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might.” If you are blessed with a full-time job, do your job well. If you are blessed with staying home, do well in your homemaking. If you are blessed with taking care of a family member, care for them well. Don’t do things half-heartedly.

WORDS:

• Peter says in 1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.”
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Encourage one another and build each other up”
• James 1:19 tells us to be “slow to speak” and fits well with Proverbs 19:14, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Making sure we are being wise with our words and speaking in a way that will benefit our households.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Matthew 7:24-27

FAITH:

“Remember, the Bible calls Jesus the Chief Cornerstone. [He is the foundation of our households and our lives.] He’s also an expert in repairing and resetting a foundation that needs help. As Matthew 7:24-27 encourages us to build our lives on a rock. [I translate this to mean Him, Jesus, the Word] – a foundation that will never change, never give way and never let us down.”

Thank you for making it to the end of this study! I hope you have found this topic interesting as we looked into Proverbs 31:27. I want to encourage you to keep reading God’s Word as there are a ton more verses about households and to be honest with you, i have just scratched the surface! I pray that you can take on these practical tips above and that it will bless your home and help your household come closer to Jesus.

I wanted to leave you this time with a beautiful section in Hebrews that puts into perspective who the builder of the home really is and how we, as the keeper, can cultivate a godly home today.

Thanks girlies! Until next time,

Aria xx

“Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest. He was faithful to the one who appointed him, just as Moses was faithful in all God’s house. Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything. “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house,” bearing witness to what would be spoken by God in the future. But Christ is faithful as the Son over God’s house. And we are his house, if indeed we hold firmly to our confidence and the hope in which we glory.”

Hebrews 3:1-6

Bibliography

Bible Hub. (2004-2024). Household. Retrieved from Bible hub: https://biblehub.com/topical/h/household.htm#:~:text=The%20concept%20of%20the%20household,economic%20production%20and%20social%20organization.

Gray, E. S. (n.d.). Retrieved from goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/209983-whatever-you-give-a-woman-she-will-make-greater-if

LaPorta, D. (2024, May 21). The Whole Pie. Retrieved from Grace Family Church: https://gfcflorida.com/beautiful-blog/the-whole-pie